This Valentine's Day, give yourself a break. Feel the love but don't get caught thinking that it’s all about another person – direct a little love towards yourself too! It's easy to do.
Here is the secret: love has nothing to do with other people, events or conditions.
Love has nothing to do with someone else. Love is all about you. It's a way of being. In fact it's the only way of being – I'm with Lennon and McCartney on this one – 'all you need is love'! And meditation practice is the answer.
Love is not something you perform, it's something you are. It's what you're made of. Even now I ask my grown-up children, 'what makes the universe turn?' 'Love', they respond. Not gravity waves or black holes – just love.
And as you and the universe are pretty much the same thing, then love it is.
Knowing that you are made of love leads not to selfishness or complacency; it leads you to open up to your own inner qualities. That person is already you, just waiting to be known. So love that person, good or bad.
The key here is to learn to accept rather than expect.
When we expect things to happen we are putting our own spin on it. We are trying to shape or change life towards what we think it should be. That goes for who we respond to and think about in our life. It changes love into desire. Good at the start, but eventually a source of anxiety; it is not a basis for sustained joy.
When we learn to accept, we let go. We open up. It's a natural process; we become the conduit through which love flows. The result is being alive to life, your life, as it is at this moment. This in turn leads you to notice that there is no you, or no me; there is just us.
When we learn to look we see there are no borders, no divisions, no differences that we mistakenly believe have to be reinforced with walls.
So be happy with where you are and what you are doing. Be happy with who you are. You are full of love. To paraphrase Spiderman, 'with great love comes great responsibility'.
Looking at the news, or social media, it'd be easy to believe that there isn't much love around at the moment. So get out there, be alive to your life and spread the love, starting with yourself first. Happy Valentine's Day!